Growing Up

Posted by sasha on 24 February 2022 Life

A little ditty 'bout Jack & Diane
Two American kids growing up in the heart land
Jack, he's gonna be a football star
Diane's debutante, back seat of Jacky's car

Those are the opening lyrics to one of my favorite songs, Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp. It's a song about two teenagers in love in rural America. But it's also a song about growing up.

On Valentine's Day, I was informed of some life-changing news regarding a past relationship that I had no business in knowing. The following day, I cut all social media ties with the remaining links to the relationship and blocked the individual who told me of this information. But it did open up some old wounds, wounds that I thought a move 250 miles away would have solved.

Thankfully the scab is back healing better, aided in the reminder of how that past relationship left me traumatized and questioning myself. It made me realize how bad of a match my prior relationship and I were. To add, it made me realize what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. In my past relationship, I had next to none of that. Until recently, I didn't know what a healthy romantic relationship was supposed to be like.

A healthy relationship is supposed to have clear and direct communication. I did not have that in the past. Not only do I have that now, it's really enjoyable too.

A healthy relationship is supposed to be stress-free. The only stress I have in my current relationship is almost entirely logistical. In the past, it was thinking about what the people I was surrounded by thought of me.

A healthy relationship has lots of trust. I see that every day. I try to keep my word, and my better half (because Liz is my better half!) does that every single day, also keeping her word. She won't make promises that she can't keep.

But most importantly, a healthy relationship is supposed to be a combination of carefree, positive and enjoyable. I might be in my 30s, but Liz makes me feel a few years younger.

Instead of focusing on the past and the jealosy that it can stir up, I'm focusing on the future. I'm focused on relocating to Western New York. I'm focused on the family I hope to have some day. I'm focused on how to show committment to my current relationship. I'm focused on at some point furthering my education. I'm focused on career goals, although my aspirations in that department may not be as realistic as they should be.

On the main topic, growing up isn't easy. Science has determined that brain maturity doesn't stop until well into an individual's 20s. Is 25 the new 18? I don't want to give lawmakers any ideas about raising any more ages of things, like buying tobacco products and alcohol. Some individuals spend their entire life trying to mature psychologically and still struggle with that. I thought by 30 I would be married and have a family of my own. I've had to have people remind me that there's nothing wrong if that's not the case. One could argue that we spend our entire lives growing up. Life is supposed to be a journey, not a race.

But one can dream, right?